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Come on in,,, My day was ruined anyway.scratch.gif (2259 bytes)

This is my page that really has no purpose,
but just to make you laugh
or maybe smile.
It's just a way for me to express my wackiness.
I had fun making it. Hope you enjoy!

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fish.gif (31210 bytes)Out of all the fish in the sea, why do I always end up with a carp.

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fish.gif (31210 bytes) I STILL MISS MY EX,
but my aim is getting better
: )


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Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

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Life is a Bitch
and then it has puppies

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When blondes have more fun
do they know it?


A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party

What would you do if you suddenly became rich?money2.gif (1498 bytes)
The $100,000,000 ?

Where there's a will
I want to be in it


Oh Lord, give me patience.
And give it to me now!

Unless you are the lead dog
the view never changes

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I think sex is better than logic,
but I can't prove it.

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If you run out of sick days, call in dead.

And your crybaby whiney-assed
opinion would be?

I pretend to work.
They pretend to pay me.

Is reading in the bathroom
considered multi-tasking ?


But what if I want the one in the bush?birds.gif (1037 bytes)


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I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.


Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once



flash.gif (18149 bytes)News flash!!!!!!!

cat1.gif (25025 bytes) Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!cat1.gif (25025 bytes)


Energizer Bunny Arrested!
Charged with Battery.


toilet.gif (128881 bytes) Police station toilet stolen
....Cops have nothing to go on


Corduroy pillows are making headlines!!



Time flies like an arrowflies.gif (1531 bytes)flies.gif (1531 bytes)flies.gif (1531 bytes)flies.gif (1531 bytes)flies.gif (1531 bytes) flies.gif (1531 bytes)
Fruit flies like a banana


doggie.gif (12972 bytes)If I throw a stick, would you leave?

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A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
How long is this beta guy going to keep testing our stuff.
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The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.

Failure is not an option!
It comes bundled with the software


The world needs more lerts.

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I'm not tense,
just terribly, terribly alert



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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Hello? Front Desk?
Some guy named Gideon left his bible here.

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

Jesus saves sinners
and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.

Jesus love you
It's everybody else that thinks your an ass.


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Ham and Eggs
A day's work for a chicken;
A lifetime commitment for a pig

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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Schizophrenia beats being alone


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A closed mouth gathers no foot

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Can you yell "Movie!"
in a crowded fire station?


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Chaos, panic and disorder
My work is done here



The trouble with life is there is no background music